I survived

I survived our friends' 1st birthday party for their little girl. I should say that WE survived because Husband was as nervous as I was. I think he was actually more nervous. The party was originally scheduled for Feb. 16, but the parents rescheduled it due to the baby having a fever. I was very nervous as the original date approached, but the rescheduled date put it on the same day as our meeting with our surrogate's family, so I think my bit of nervousness over the surro meeting overshadowed any nervousness over the birthday party.

The party was good. The baby is very sweet, and it wasn't nearly as hard to see her as I thought it would be. She went right to Husband and looked like she enjoyed being in his arms, which was very sweet. She did the same to me later. Everyone was happy to see us and no snarky comments were made; no stupid comments were made either--a huge relief for us. Husband is making plans for lunch with our friend's husband, so hopefully their friendship can start up again. I think our gift of 4 books (3 age-appropriate books and 1 to grow into) went over very well. I have to say that Husband and I looked good too :-) We both dressed with care, and I had my hair cut last week, so we were both looking our best. It helps your confidence knowing that if nothing else, at least you look good! We'll see what our attendance at the party does for the friendship. I still feel a little bit of hurt and anger bubble up from time to time, and it does frustrate me a little bit that we sort of gave in. Oh well.

Our dinner with our surrogate and her family went well also. It was an interesting juxtaposition going from a 1st birthday party to a dinner with our surrogate. She was so afraid her kids (she has 3) were going to be rowdy, but they seemed like normal kids to us. It was actually refreshing. After our experiences with our nephew, I think Husband and I were afraid that we didn't like kids, but it reassured me that I do like kids because I like her kids. We talked a lot about the process and details. It turns out that she has better health insurance than we do! If I were to miraculously get pg and give birth, it would cost us about $2k out of pocket before insurance paid the rest thanks to my deductible and co-insurance. All she (and therefore we) have to pay is a $10 co-pay at the first OB appointment. I'm going to call the lawyer today to set up an appointment to start working on the contract.

The best news is that our surrogate thinks that she will have the third AF cycle required by my clinic in April! Hopefully we will be able to cycle for IVF in May-June. And now I'm getting a little freaked out because that's not very far off, and I need to find out what tests and bloodwork the clinic needs from me, evaluate whether my endometrioma still exists and how we'll treat it, etc. The good thing is that I am BCPs, so hopefully I won't have too long of a delay to get my body ready for stimming. I think my new clinic uses lupron, and my old clinic used antagon, so I don't know how much prep work I'll requre beforehand. Honestly, I've avoided thinking about these kinds of details because they make my head spin. It's a lot easier on me if I tell myself to take things one thing at a time.

And let me tell you...my mother is SO excited about our surrogacy journey. I'm actually a little bothered by her enthusiasm. I'm glad she's excited and all for it, but I wish she would calm down a bit.