Chubby Cheeks, A Smile and Rumination

We had our monthly doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and it went well. F passed the one-hour GTT, and everything with the baby was great. We paid (happily) for another 3-D ultrasound, and the baby teased us for a while by keeping his fist and the cord in front of his face, but near the end, he finally cooperated and smiled for us! He was adorable. He has the chubbiest cheeks, and I think he has my chin and Husband's ears and lips. I have no idea where he gets those cheeks, though. He weighs almost 3 pounds and is 15 inches--quite a change from our last ultrasound in January when he was not quite a pound! We now transition to appointments every two weeks. I still can't believe how quickly time is passing. He will be here before we know it.

It feels weird to post such happy tidings when others have experienced some devastating occurrences lately. I'm thinking of surrogate buddies Duck and Niki and their miscarriages and Tabi's negative cycle with her surrogate. I'm also thinking of my coworker K and how she finally became pg with twins via IVF and began bleeding right before her 13 week screening last week, only to discover that she has a subchorionic hematoma and is now on bed rest at least until Wednesday. I ran into her at work as she was on her way to HR to fill out FMLA paperwork, and I was terrified b/c she was so pale and drawn. Her OB, in the helpful way all doctors have, told her that the hematoma was "normal but not common."

I'm so used to being on the unfortunate side of statistics myself that is still surprises me that we are where we are. My heart hurts for all of them. I wish there were some rhyme or reason WHY things turn out the way they do, but one thing I've learned from the past 3.5 years is that there is NO rhyme or reason. You can't promise to be a better person or list your stellar qualities. You can't do penance. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad, undeserving people. It sucks, and I wish it didn't work that way. I know that anything I have to say to Duck, Tabi or Niki would sound trite considering where I am. I just feel awful for them; they truly deserve success and happiness. We enter into surrogacy thinking it's going to be our magic bullet, and it is awful when it proves not to be--at least not the first time. The only poor advice I have to offer is to urge them not to give up, to please try again.

Oh, my friend J who became pg with her second child on her first cycle of Clomid again...she had her ultrasound on Tuesday, and it turns out she is pg with ONE baby. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I do not begrudge anyone their twins, but I still miss our twin. I felt like I could embrace her easily-achieved second pregnancy somewhat due to our circumstances, but if she had been pg with twins after 50mg of Clomid, I don't know how I would have reacted. Sad but true.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!