Remember Me?

Argh. I really apologize that my posting has been so sporadic. Being home with D kept me busy but returning to work really amplified that. I feel like most work week nights revolve around coming home -> baby stuff ->eating ->trying to get to bed at a decent hour. I have read probably 2, no more than 3 books for "fun" since August. Life is definitely different!

I love it though. I admit to being more tired than I ever knew I could be, and it's been interesting adjusting to leaving work behind at 4:30 on the dot because my MIL would be waiting in the parking lot to drop off the baby. I've always had a problem letting go of work, so being forced to shut down at 4:30 has been nice, but it's also been difficult b/c there has been some work I've needed to do after hours to catch up or do research, and I just don't have the time or energy. Oh well. It's an adjustment, right?

Daniel is doing soooo well! He is 7.5 months now and WILD!! This week I declare him to be officially crawling, and he has two bottom teeth and two top teeth threatening to come through any day now. He went from barely being able to sit up without a supporting arm on Jan. 2 to being able to sit up straight without any support a few days ago. The milestones are coming fast and furious! He smiles a lot and is very happy. He makes us soooo very happy. Our first Christmas with him was perfect. It really was the perfect holiday for us: no travel, lots of family, family who didn't outstay their welcome, a private Christmas, etc. I didn't expect him to get much of Christmas, so I was unprepared for the joy on his face when he saw what Santa brought. We barely did "Santa" his first year, but we loved it!

He is eating solids along with formula, and he loves them. I never thought I would do this, but I am making all of his veggies and fruits. He eats carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, cauliflower, apples, pears, squash, and peaches. He eats more veggies and fruits than Husband does!! LOL

We are having a great time with him. Each day is an adventure. I've started to think a little about a second child and what that would entail, but we won't seriously talk about it until his first birthday--which will likely be around the corner based on how quickly time is flying! More on that topic to come.

I definitely have not forgotten my infertility, but it has been so great having him here. He is wonderful.

I hope you all are having a good 2010 so far.

Farewell, 2008!

I still find it hard to believe that today is the last day of 2008. It still feels like it should be only October. We have pretty boring plans: takeout, videos, and champagne LOL. We used to spend it with friends, but the last few years we've spent by ourselves, and that's nice too. Our sinus infections morphed into slight colds (sore throat for Husband and cough for me), so we're not feeling 100%. I don't get sick often, but if I do, it always seems to be over some sort of vacation unfortunately. The last time I took two classes during fall semester (2 years ago), I was sick over Christmas. Having had a pretty busy year, at least I can discern a pattern.

Our Christmas was pretty good. Christmas Eve with my mother and stepfather went much more smoothly than I anticipated. We talked about baby stuff a little, but I was gratified that she told me she is still anxious too and will wait for our signal before she gets truly excited. She also told us that she plans to give us money towards our nursery furniture! That's a very nice gesture and much appreciated. Alas, after a few glasses of poinsettia punch, she also reiterated that she hoped I would get pg at some point. Again I had to remind her that the state of my tubes rendered that impossible unless we underwent IVF or did an FET with our frozen embryos. Christmas day we went to my cousin's, and it was very nice seeing cousin L with her little pooch of a belly and cousin-in-law C with her 7-month belly. My aunts greeted me as the other mother-to-be, which I thought was sweet. And true! My aunts hope to be able to get all four babies together next Christmas. What a cute picture that would make! My cousin-in-law's shower is in mid-January, and I plan to attend.

Our final Christmas event was last Saturday with Husband's family. It went like it usually did: bad food, too much alcohol and irritating relatives LOL. Unfortunately, little progress has been made with the hardwoods since we've been a bit under the weather. Oh well. It will keep.

Which brings us back to today, New Year's Eve. 2008 was an ok year. It was really busy, and I don't feel like I've had a chance to rest properly until this week. It was also very stressful. However, 2008 ends on a much different note than any of the past few years have. Last year I said that I wanted to be on the last stage of this journey: either we would be successful with surrogacy or getting ready to move on to adoption and knock on wood, I'm happy I've been able to keep that resolution. It's the little steps like that, being able to glimpse a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, that have kept me sane during this process. I feel like we have emerged from some of the darkness of the past few years. We're 18 weeks today and hopefully things will continue in 2009 as smoothly as they have so far.

May 2009 be good to us all. Have fun, be safe and I'll see you next year!

Almost 17 Weeks and Happy Holidays

It has been a busy several days! My last day of work for 2008 was last Friday, and I was busy right up until I cut off my computer. Everyone seemed to have one last "little" (usually not-so-little) change they wanted made. I may dislike my job at times and wish I didn't allow it to cause me so much stress, but I do admit that I have a pretty nice situation working for a local university. We get several days off for the holidays and then a few years ago, they started closing the university for the other days. You have to use vacation for those extra days, but it's ok to me because I would have taken those days off anyway. I took a couple extra days off and won't return to work until 1/5/09! Happily, Christmas shopping is done and gifts are wrapped. I make goodie bags for family every year and will start that baking tomorrow.

In the meantime, Husband is working on installing hardwoods in what will become the guest room. The hardwoods symbolize our first major purchase for the baby. We had truly hideous carpet in our bedroom and the other two bedrooms, and we would either need to replace the carpet or do something different, and we decided to put in hardwoods. The current guest room will become the nursery, and the empty room (the one being worked on currently) will become the guest room. Perhaps not surprisingly, the first room is taking a LOT longer than anticipated. I made a deal with Husband that if he insisted on starting this project during the holidays, I would not help him (much) because he had been insisting for months that I needed to relax. Well, installing hardwoods is not my idea of relaxation! So I've done everything to prepare for Christmas, and he's been dealing with the prep in the first room. And on top of that, we think we might have sinuses infections.

We had our second OB appointment today, and it went well. It was supposed to be a fairly routine visit, but the doctor couldn't find the baby's HB consistently with the doppler, so we had another u/s! Reassuringly, the little heart was beating nicely, and we were able to get a classic profile picture of the baby. It really looks like a baby now. It wasn't moving as much as it had been during other u/s, but it did kick its legs and I think I see toes in our picture. Unfortunately, the u/s machine wasn't good enough to detect gender, so that will wait until our Jan. 19 appointment. And F is showing! It's so cute! We'll be 17 weeks on Wednesday, and it was a nice Christmas surprise to have another u/s. We had the quad screen bloodwork drawn, and I found out that unless something really worries them, we likely won't find out the results until our next appointment. I made sure that they used my age (31) for their calculations (because F is older and would technically be considered AMA at 36).

Husband and I have 4 sets of parents between us, so Christmas has already begun. We had dinner with my father and stepmother on Saturday and then Wednesday we travel to my hometown (near Winston-Salem) to spend Christmas Eve with my mother and stepfather. We'll go to my cousin's house on Christmas for brunch and then head back to our house later that day. And then on Dec. 27 we'll have Christmas with the in-laws. It makes for an exhausting week. I'm curious about how Christmas with my family is going to go. It's my mother's side of the family that has the two pg cousins (one of whom is hosting Christmas brunch) and the cousin who just gave birth last month. I am really, really ready to be excited and talk baby stuff non-stop but then another part of me still feels anxiety when I do. I think I'm just going to have to go with what feels right. Intriguingly, all of my cousins have had or are having boys. We are the only "unknown" gender right now. I'm trying to decide if those odds favor us to have a girl or if we will make the 4th boy. F still swears all her dreams are girls. Honestly, we don't care as long as it is healthy.

I hope all of you have wonderful holidays. I hope in some way this Christmas is different, better than what you experienced last year. I bought a tiny stocking for the baby while we were at Biltmore, and I felt panicky after I bought it, but it's up and hanging over my stocking, and I just need to embrace our situation. Last year I felt a tiny bit of hope that maybe Christmas 2008 would be different, and it is. This year, I feel even more (cautious) hope that Christmas 2009 will be even more different. May it be a good holiday for us all.