Sunday, September 20, 2009


AKA my birthday! I'm so amused by the date this year. I remember that it was somewhat of a big deal in 1999 too when the date was 9/9/99.

I'm 32 this year. 32. I remember when 32 seemed old but yet it also seems so young. I can tell the demographics at work are changing slightly. I've worked at my present place of employment for 9 years. For most of that time, I was the youngest full-time employee. In the last few years, we've added a few employees who are several years younger. It's not a big deal, but there is a decent-sized gap between me and the next oldest employee too. Sometimes being a member of either the last years of Gen X or the first years of Gen Y is pretty lonely.

But I digress. It's been a pretty quiet birthday, and I don't mind. Not surprisingly, my attitude towards my birthday was different this year. I felt much more serene and perfectly happy to do little celebrating. In the past few years, I felt like my birthday was one of the few things I had and needed to cling to it, counting cards and emails and hoping I would be remembered. This year? Eh...not so much. I still wanted my birthday acknowledged, but I didn't need it to be so. I attribute this change to Daniel obviously. I feel ok. Calm. Happy.

Happy is a weird place for me. I've always been one of those half-empty, cynical people. For the most part, I still am. But overall I feel so full. So calm. Serene and tranquil. I roll my eyes as I type those words because they seem so absurd and cliche. But it is how I feel. I feel grounded. And delighted.

Sometimed I wonder when the warm, fuzzy feelings will abate. I feel infatuated and wonder when that will wear off. I'm not saying I want it to, but I wonder when I will start finding a behavior or stage irritating and feel that I can and must address it for "my child" and not "precious miracle baby."

Eh, a bit heavy topic for tonight! Work has gone well. Everyone has told me how happy they are to see me and glad that I am back. There is a ton to do, so I'm kept busy and that helps. MIL is having a great time with Daniel. She sends us the cutesy emails about his activities every day. It's a great situation, and I'm glad it is working so far.

Daniel might be teething. He is drooling a lot and constantly has his fist in his mouth. He is very chatty! He is still flirting with sleeping through the night. He is grabbing at things and trying to pull himself up. His grins slay me!

Recently I discovered that F placed a new ad on SurroMoms' classifieds forum. I was a little shocked because she had stated over and over that she wasn't going to look for a new couple but would work again with only us and her previous couple. I shouldn't be bothered by it because she is free to do what she wants, but it still feels weird. She is still pumping for us, and I'm not going to ask about the ad. I wish her luck in whatever she pursues, but it sort of feels like what you feel when your ex starts dating someone else lol.

And can I say how exhausted I am? Working and coming home and taking care of D is exhausting. He is an angel, and we are so happy, but it is still exhausting. I've started thousands of blog posts that I've never finished. But it's a wonderful time. I want to post more and hope to do so. I try to go to bed by 11 at the latest and since MIL meets me at work, there is no snoozing for me. And we are usually out of bed and having coffee by 9am most weekends. That is a HUGE change for us, but it is nice too because I feel like we have much more time to get stuff done.

Life is different but wonderful. Fall is our season, and Husband and I are truly looking forward to this one.

-- Post From My iPhone