Obsessions

Husband and I are obsessed. I am obsessed with baby bedding; he is obsessed with the floors. I have not been able to find bedding I like, and Husband is that rare male (at least in my world) who has an opinion on furnishings, beddings, china, clothes, etc. He has disliked every bedding set I've sent him. He found a set that he really likes. I like it ok. It's cute and isn't too stereotypically boyish. I was not completely sold on it because I was hoping to do a room that was meaningful to us and couldn't figure out how baby forest creatures were meaningful to us. However, I've accepted that neither the bedding nor the fabric I want exists right now, so we've compromised on the set he likes and we will personalize the room with pictures from some of our travels.

He has decided that he wants to make his own baseboards now. No white baseboards for him! He told me yesterday that he wanted to get some wood and mill it himself for the baseboards. OMG. Are you KIDDING me? We compromised on that as well and now he will use floorboards, which will look great with a little tweaking. And all it costs me is a visit from my mother and stepfather to help out LOL. He's made a lot of progress on the first room and hopes to have it finished next week. I'm just a tad concerned because we have two more rooms to do, one of which is the baby's room. I'm really proud of him for tackling this job but I'm trying to find that sweet spot between his perfectionism and my desire for the project to be done :-)

We're 22 weeks today. F felt the baby move for the first time on the outside, which was exciting to hear. She says he has hiccups quite a bit too. I had been thinking that we have 18 weeks to go, but she told me last week that since she never goes to 40 weeks, it's more like 16-17 weeks. Gulp! That's not far at all.

I have come out to work about the baby. It's been a little weird for me b/c my instinct is to run and hide, but I keep reminding myself that I need to make plans. I can't just disappear for 12 weeks with no notice. Everyone's reactions have been great, though. I was really worried about it b/c I know my coworkers and how weird they can be at times. So far, all the reactions have been overwhelmingly positive. A coworker explained it to me this way: "we love you and therefore we are simply just excited and happy for you." It's a good reminder for me to try to think better of people. Maybe they go home and say, "OMG. That is SO weird" but they haven't said it to me.

I also talked to HR yesterday and was happy to discover that they will allow me to use 6 weeks of sick leave, and I have enough vacation and bonus leave to make up the other 6 weeks, so I can take 12 weeks paid. I feel a bit guilty because almost none of my friends and family have been able to take more than 8 weeks paid or unpaid. It's a shameful commentary on the maternity leave policy is in this country. When I start feeling guilty, though, I remind myself that I've made a lot of sacrifices for this baby and that being able to have 12 paid weeks off is nice.

We've called the lawyer to start the PBO process, so hopefully that ball is rolling. I can't believe that it's time to start thinking about that. F told me that the pregnancy would fly by, but I didn't really believe her. It has though.

I've noticed that I've turned a corner in my thinking about the baby. I'm excited. I'm researching. I'm making plans. But I'm still knocking on wood and feeling panicky when I talk about it too much (I actually just deleted a sentence that I had written b/c I felt I might be jinxing things). But it's nice to finally be able to enjoy it a bit.