Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pain

Tomorrow Husband and I will journey to Richmond to say goodbye to my father. After that, his doctors will remove him from life support, and my stepmother and I will begin to plan his service.

I'm still somewhat in shock. My father went into the hospital on May 25 for open heart surgery to remove a huge aneurysm in his aorta. The surgery went well, but his recovery was slow and complicated. Then, a week ago, he finally started feeling better and was having a good day when the doctors took him for a routine test. During that test he fainted and his heart stopped. It took them 20 minutes to get his heart beating again and it ultimately took manual stimulation.

Amazingly he made it through surgery and that night. And the next few nights. They closed his chest on
Monday and were encouraged. Unfortunately, yesterday they determined there was no brain function and confirmed it today.

Tomorrow we'll be on our way to Richmond.

It just still seems so unreal. The surgery was supposed to be routine and now my father is brain dead. Daniel's first birthday was last week. I has sent pictures of him digging into the cake I made him, a cake made in an heirloom cake pan my farher's grandmother had made MY first cake in. Unfortunately my father wasn't up to seeing those pictures, and now it is too late.

While I regret that Daniel will not get to know my father, I am thankful that my father met him and knew we had been successful in our quest for a baby. And thanks to Daniel, I saw my father twice as much in the last year as I typically did.

It's just so unbelievable and sad. And I am sad. I didn't ever expect to be losing a parent, well, any time soon.

-- Post From My iPhone

7 comments:

Sue said...

I'm so sorry about your father, and especially for the fact that this happened so suddenly and unexpectedly. I'm glad that you made more time to see each other this past year and that he had the opportunity to know his grandson.

JJ said...

You have remained in my thoughts, sweetie. Loads of hugs...

kate said...

I am just so very sorry to read about your father. It's so shocking and so hard to see a parent suffer, to watch them endure surgeries, to wait for them to hopefully make some sort of recovery. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you, especially since it was so unexpected. I am very glad that you spent more time than usual with him because of your sweet boy, and even if D never consciously knows his grandfather, he will surely know that at least his grandfather knew him.

Thinking of you and your family...

Ruta said...

I am so, so sorry... I'm so glad he got to spend time with D, and that you got to have more time with him as well. You and your family will continue to be in my and K's thoughts and prayers.

sacredandscarred said...

I'm so sorry.

Bernardeena said...

I'm so so sorry for the loss of you Father. I'm so glad he had chance to get to know his grandson, but I'm sorry you have all lost him so soon.

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