Antsy

It sucks being back at work after a 4-day weekend. Sigh. At least it's Tuesday though. And, I looked at my calendar and realized that I have no meetings this week! Score! I do have to go to Greensboro on Friday, but that's ok. That makes the week seem even shorter, which is never a bad thing.

Husband and I had a great weekend. We slept late. I read 3 books. We ate junk. We caught up on shows saved in our DVR. We even made more progress in our ongoing quest to clean our garage. And what a beautiful weekend! Our neighbors have put bird houses and feeders throughout their back yard, and as a result, we have birds everywhere in ours. It was so nice sitting on our porch yesterday watching the birds. For the first time, I could understand how people become bird watchers.

I'm feeling pretty antsy, though. I'm hoping to receive the next draft of our contract this week. We've had some delays getting the attorney the final set of changes. Husband gave her one set last week. Then he emailed her the last part which she apparently did not get. He tried to call her on Friday but she was in court, and of course yesterday was Memorial Day. Argh! I'm feeling antsy because 1) our surrogate has now completed the three-cycle requirement by the clinic and 2) there has been quite a lot of success for some of my fellow Intended Parents lately, and that makes me want to start cycling NOW.

I'm also antsy because I had been looking forward to Memorial Day for so long, and now that it has passed, I don't have anything to look forward to except for cycling, and since I don't know when that will be, I'm frustrated. However, we finally decided to take control of our situation and are going to plan a beach trip for after my summer school class ends (if it isn't cancelled, another source of uncertainty). I felt like everything would resolve around our unknown cycling schedule, but at this point I doubt we will be cycling until late July at the earliest and also at this point, what's another week? I feel good about this decision. Hopefully all the hotels won't be booked for July.

My pg friend A, the one who is pretty much living out my high school fantasy by marrying my high school guy, mentioned the word "shower" to me over the weekend. Every time I hear from her, it unsettles me. I finally replied today, telling her that I would try to come, but that showers are hard for me. I also laid out the hard time I am having with her pregnancy and its suddenness. In nicer terms of course. She lives out of state, and we don't talk as frequently as I do with my geographically closer friends, so I don't think she's as aware of what dealing with IF has been like for me. I'm still having trouble comprehending that she's married to my high school guy and pregnant by him when 6 months ago she was lamenting her broken engagement to her ex-fiance. But I'll get over it eventually. It's just a doubly or triply weird situation for me with a lot of baggage.