Forward Motion

Summer is OVER! Thank goodness because I think I was going to go crazy if I had to go one more day.

I had my appointment with the clinic so the RE could take a gander at my ovary last Friday. I waited TWO HOURS for my appointment and predictably, the appointment itself was over in about 5 minutes. The doctor can't decide if what he saw is an endometrioma or fluid in my tube that is distorting the tube and making it wrap more around my ovary (thank you again, endometriosis, for the gift that keeps on giving). He asked me if the tube had been cauterized, and I told him yes. He smugly replied, "yes, I wrote a paper on that years ago that has now become standard practice." I hope he couldn't see me rolling my eyes on the table. He's decided that he wants to take a closer look and drain what's there--whether fluid-filled tube or endometrioma--before we cycle. It will likely take place in August. I asked, "will I get a day off from work?" He replied, "yes," and that's all I needed to know :-)

So, I started Provera on Saturday and will take it for 10 more days. Eventually, I will get a period. I say eventually because in the past, it has often taken at least 7 days for me to get a period after taking Provera. After that I will start BCPs (huh? I thought he didn't want me on them?). Our surro will likely have started BCPs about a week before I do. Once I'm on BCPs, I'll have the cyst/tube drained, and then once they tell me to stop the pill, we'll be ready to cycle!

It's kind of weird being on Provera again. I associate it with failure and frustration. Provera was what my gyno prescribed after my second cycle off BCPs lasted for 70 days. Provera is what I took 2 more times when I still didn't ovulate and before I started Clomid. It's what I took after I didn't ovulate on my first cycle of 100mg of Clomid. It's so "Year 1" of my infertility journey. In some ways I think of us as nearing the end of our journey: if surrogacy does not work, we will move to adoption. So it seems fitting that our journey both begins and ends with Provera.

My best friend K started a baby blog about her daughter, E. For some reason, her blog hurts a bit. I remember feeling kicked in the gut when I first visited J's blog for her daughter, but it's primarily pictures. K's posts are real posts, and K is blogging about her adventures in motherhood. K is a good writer, and her posts are witty and poignant. And so happy. I compare my ramblings in this blog (an infertility blog) to her posts and feel like I am lacking in comparison. But is it the blog or just my perception of our very different situations?

We're going to the beach on Friday. Oh. We are now an iPhone family. Husband stood in line for 8 hours on Friday to procure them. I'm a little scared of it, but I am in love with how intuitive it is. Me with an iPhone. Is a Mac far behind?