Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Out of Sorts

This has been a frustrating week. People at work have been stupid and most of my time has been spent putting fires out instead of making progress with projects. Or it might be more accurate to say that mini-projects keep appearing from nowhere and jump to the top of the list. And it seems like March is DRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGING. I think it's because my mind is already focused on April and May, and it's a surprise when I look at the calendar and realize that it is still March. I felt the same way in February last year after we booked our IVF cycle. Poor, short little February suddenly became the longest month ever because all I wanted to do was get to March which was filled with doctors appointments, bloodwork, med ordering, etc. In other words, progress.

I've been trying to take things one day at a time and have been doing pretty well. I understood and accepted that that there were impediments to our cycling with our surrogate immediately: gave birth in early December, lactating until mid-February, need cycles to resume and then have 3 cycles, etc. Nothing I could do to speed things up. But this week I just want to bang my head against the wall. We hadn't heard anything from the attorney on the contract, which sort of surprised me since I thought that she was going to send us some questions or info soon after our meeting. And even better, I received an email yesterday from our surro telling me that the one day of bleeding/spotting she had two weeks ago was NOT cycle 1, and that AF arrived for real on Sunday, pushing out our the potential start date by 2 weeks. I know 2 weeks isn't that big of a deal, but I am so tired of waiting. I feel like I have been twiddling my thumbs since September, and I want to get started. I want to cycle again. I'm ready to get back in the game. Argh. I think all this has really gotten to me this week because we are SO close to being able to start our testing and then cycling.

I'm feeling better today, though. Husband called the attorney yesterday, and she thought her assistant had emailed us already, so she was going to check on that and email us. Yay! Even better, Husband sensed how stressed and tense I was last night, and we got rather tipsy. It felt very decadent getting tipsy on a Tuesday night, but hey, we can. We might as well enjoy that perk of the child-free life while we can :) I do have a slight hangover today I'm embarrassed to admit. 30 years old and slightly hungover. Oh yeah, that's something to brag about! I feel calmer and more serene. I can only affect what's in my control and very little of this situation is. I'll repeat the Serenity prayer over and over and over until I believe it.

Oh, Husband and I have a new love: Apple's iPhone. He has been wanting one for a couple of months, and we checked them out at the Apple store last Friday. And now I'm in love too. It surprises me b/c I am a very low-tech cell phone user. I call no one but Husband. I don't text. I don't even know how to check my voicemail. But I want that iPhone. I had been skeptical of its claims ever since it came out, but no more. I'm just so surprised by this Apple love I'm having lately. Sure, I love my iPod. What's not to love? But an iPhone? I didn't feel cool enough for it. But now I don't care. We're going to wait until the next model comes out later this year and get them then.


niobe said...

I know what you mean. The clinic promised me that we do a cycle by January at the absolute latest, and here it is the end of March, and no cycle in sight.

sara said...

Sorry things are going super slow. That's got to be frustrating, especially when it seems like you guys have waited so long. Two weeks can seem like an eternity..

Good for you for getting a little tipsy on a you said, why not be able to enjoy yourself a little bit if you're able to at the moment after a long day/week/month. You deserve some relaxation to help keep the sanity!

kate said...

Ah, sorry for your delays with the surro. You seem to be really even-keeled about it though, so good for you!

I, too, thoroughly enjoy the guilty mid-week tipsy on occasion. It feels so incredibly decadent.

And I thought I wasn't cool enough for the iPhone, but maybe I'll have to check it out. My good friend has one and she loves it. I played with it a bit and kind of felt like it looked fun, but mostly I felt like I didn't know what I would do with all those features.