More Clinic Moronity

Funny, when I wrote "moronity" I wasn't certain it was an actual word, but Google assures me it is LOL. Some time ago, the previous financial coordinator at my clinic had informed me that payment for our surrogate's bloodwork and ultrasounds while cycling would be handled by a separate payment of $800. Great! It sounded easy and defined. Fast forward to a few months later and that financial coordinator is no longer there. Husband had forgotten about the additional payment when he talked to the new financial coordinator (whom we had already established as being clueless), and she did not mention it either. So we paid for the cycle but didn't pay the additional payment.

I reminded him about it, and he called her yesterday to ask about it, and she informed him, "oh yes, that $800 must be paid before you can order meds." Can you hear my screaming from here? Just once I wish someone at that clinic knew what the fuck was going on! Husband informed her that he would be in today to pay it and she had the gall to tell him that it didn't have to be paid right away; he could wait and pay it when I come in for my surgical follow-up on the 15th. Right. Like I will willingly wait to pay for something that may impact when we can order meds and get started. Unbelievable.

He left 2 messages for the nurse coordinator as well to ask about the status of our schedule and med ordering and of course, no return call yet. He's going to try to tackle her as well today. I just want them to understand that we are NOT ok with waiting just because they can't manage to get their shit together without a good reason. If she had said they did schedules every Thursday or that they limited the number of women cycling at a given point or SOME, ANY indication that there was a method to their madness or a hint of a process, I would have been mollified. Instead it feels like they just do it when they feel like it. Maybe they draw names out of a hat? Maybe they throw all the files in the air and which ones land face up they make the next schedule for? Maybe they do it based on what patient has pissed them off least that week (which would definitely rule us out). Who knows?

I'm feeling better, thankfully. I don't feel as weak and out of it as I did over the weekend, but I am still spotting a bit and am a little sore and crampy. It's not too bad. Hey, when you have endo, you get used to all sorts of aches and pains.

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about my inability to lounge around sans guilt, and she told me to enjoy it while I could since I won't always be able to. I assumed she was referring to a time when we have children in the house. I appreciate her belief that our situation will change, but as I was thinking about her comment, I realized that I don't think I believe our situation will change. I can't imagine a child in our house or a time when we aren't in this awful limbo. At this point, children seem like something that happens to other people. It's not part of my reality. Now, deep down in places where an iota of optimism clings, of course I think that one day, somehow we will have a child. But then my head wonders how much more we will have to go through before we get there, and right now, I can't wrap my brain around a future in which we have moved to the other side.