Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Three Years of IF Hell

Today marks 3 full years of IF Hell. Three years ago today I took my last BCP, confident that everything would be fine and dandy and most importantly, normal. Because I'm a navel-gazer, it's always fun to compare anniversaries. Last year when this auspicious day rolled around, I was 10 days post failed FET, and we had no idea what our next direction would be. Surrogacy? Adoption? Another IVF?

Year 3 was a lot quieter overall. We knew what was wrong. We pursued no more treatments for me. Instead we committed to surrogacy, found our surrogate and waited. And waited. And waited. And here we are now finally cycling. I'd like to believe that when Aug. 13 rolls around next year, I'll be too busy to notice, but one thing I've learned from three years of IF is not to make plans and not to get your hopes up.

3 comments:

Mrs.X said...

I hit my three year anniversary on May 5. It's hard not to be discouraged when you look back and think about just how long three years actually is and what you don't have. But, when you are ready, I would also look and see what you do have - strength, probably more than you ever thought possible and the will to keep moving forward. Those are gifts that you can use for a lifetime. And, I truly wish that on August 13, 2009, you will have a new anniversary.

Duck said...

I hit my 3 year on feb 17th, it's hard because there are not many of us out here... hope all is well

sara said...

I'm so sorry about your 3 year mark. I'm hoping next year you'll be looking back saying thank heavens that part of our life is all over - and instead are celebrating a new fabulous type of anniversary. ((hugs))