Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mostly Good News

Today was the long-awaited u/s. I had a hard time sleeping last night and felt even more nervous today. It was like the first day of school and Christmas Eve combined :-) I'm happy to report that we saw a wriggling, dancing alien with a hearbeat. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. The sad news is that it looks like we did have a twin that stopped developing about a week or so ago. The doctor measured the baby at 8w2d, which is a little less than the almost 9 weeks we are, but I know that's pretty normal, right? He wants to see us again, so our next appointment is on Nov. 7. We had hoped to be released to the OB today.

I know he said everything looked good with our dancer, but I am slightly freaked out. I had hoped today would bring some relief, but now I'm even more anxious and scared and worried. And I'm sad for our twin. But I'm happy too. We have pictures, and it is amazing.

It didn't help that Dr-Says-the-Wrong-Thing said, "aren't you glad that you put back 3?" as we were staring at the monitor, feeling happy for our 1 and sad for the other.

So, I'm a mix of feelings. I didn't expect to feel so mixed up. I guess I just need to keep taking deep breaths and enjoy today.

18 comments:

kate said...

I'm sad for your twin, too, but oh-so-very HAPPY for your dancing alien! So COOL!!!

Sue said...

Sorry your doctor has such a knack for saying the wrong thing, and that your twin stopped progressing. I'm thrilled you saw a healthy heartbeat and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy for you and your surrogate. Congratulations on getting this far!

Angi said...

I am sure it is very much a mixture of feelings, but I am SO glad that you have your dancing alien. It is so weird to feel sad for something you didn't even know was there, isn't it...the loss is still very real whether you knew about it ahead of time or not. Can't wait to hear your next update!

N said...

I'm sorry about the twin but so happy that you have a dancing, healthy baby in there! I think your feelings are totally normal, but the sadness will soon give way to pure joy for the little one you have on the way. :)

Intending To Be Parents said...

I am so sorry to hear about your twin, but very happy to hear about your alien with a h/b! I hope you have a great next visit on Nov 7 and you get some more good photos of your little one.

JJ said...

Im sorry to hear about the twin, sweetie. Not cool for your doctor to put it THAT way...
I am overjoyed for your little one--I know I was always told that they measure a week ahead or behind at this stage of the game, give or take and that it's OK. Hoping all continues to go great!

JourneyofHope said...

What a day for you. Such a contrast of emotions. Hang in there. Everything is going to work out. Send out as many positive vibes to your little baby. It won't be long until you are in your second trimester. I am so glad that baby put on a show for you.

susanna said...

I am sorry about your twin. But Congratulations! A little dancing alien is wonderful news.

Samantha said...

It's tough to that mixed bag of news. I'm very happy for your healthy heartbeat, but the loss of the twin is hard too. Hopefully things will get more boring from here!

The doc never fails to entertain us in the blogging world at least, with his obnoxious comments!

Brave China Doll said...

Congratulations!! I am so, so happy for you. I can totally identify with your emotions.

When we had our first ultrasound, we had a twin that didn't develop and my emotions were so mixed -- sad for the twin, but happy for the other and relieved too because of the UU.

Do enjoy this time and take it all in if you can! You're right. It IS so amazing!

sacredandscarred said...

Happy and sad for you.

sara said...

Mixed feelings are totally understandable. Take all the time you need. You have been through a lot and I'm so happy that things are continuing to move forward. Been thinking of you and keeping all of you in my prayers. ((hugs))

Newt said...

Oh, how tough. I had a twin who stopped developing at 8 weeks, too. That mix of happy and sad is really befuddling. I'm so sorry for your lost baby.

I hope your doctor mentioned that the prognosis for the surviving twin is very good still. Mine is 30 weeks now, and no ill effects from the lost sibling.

Congratulations, and I'm sorry.

Newt said...

Oh, how tough. I had a twin who stopped developing at 8 weeks, too. That mix of happy and sad is really befuddling. I'm so sorry for your lost baby.

I hope your doctor mentioned that the prognosis for the surviving twin is very good still. Mine is 30 weeks now, and no ill effects from the lost sibling.

Congratulations, and I'm sorry.

Lea said...

Happy dancing alien day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of your feelings are justified. Just take it day by day. I'm thrilled and can't wait to hear how the next appointment goes.

TABI said...

So happy to hear about the heartbeat! Congrats! But I know it is mixed with sadness about the loss. That's really tough and I hope that you can focus on the joy of that little dancing alien!!

nutmeg96 said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of the twin, but I have high hopes for the little alien!

Ananda said...

I have been following your blog for some time now being in a similar situation myself. I am so sorry for your loss of the twin but relieved to hear that the other is dancing. I also have a unicornuate uterus and after 4 miscarriages, we have decided upon gestational surrogacy. We are headed for an embryo transfer around the middle of December and are also hoping for twins. I would love to email with you and ask you some questions if you have the energy or desire -- I understand if you don't. ananda.norris@gmail.com