Monday, December 3, 2007

School is Out and Anniversary Musings

As of 12:15 today, my semester officially ended. Yay! Unfortunately, I'm not quite finished with my final project yet, so I can't celebrate by wallowing in the 61 books I bought at the book sale. I'm close, though, so hopefully I can upload the project tomorrow and be completely done.

On Saturday Husband and I celebrated our 6th anniversary. We went out to eat at a really nice restaurant and gorged ourselves with great food and wine. Oh and dessert. Lots and lots of dessert. 6 years isn't one of those milestone years like 5, 10 or 20, but in some ways I considered it a do-over of last year's anniversary. Last year we had our first appointment with a new clinic on our anniversary. I was excited because I had heard good things about this clinic and at that point had been bleeding off and on for several weeks after my one failed IUI/injectable cycle and welcomed the fresh eyes on my case since my old RE didn't seem overly concerned about the bleeding. Our appointment was good, but it was at that appointment that I learned that I probably had a unicornuate uterus, my right tube didn't look good and was probably damanged by endo, and I had a huge cyst that was likely an endometrioma instead of the hemorrhagic cyst the previous RE diagnosed it as. Oh, and Husband's motility was low. Verdict: straight to IVF with ICSI.

In my heart, I suspected that I had a lot wrong reproductively and while it was nice to have my suspicions confirmed, it was a lot to take in all at once. And in IF, no one wants to have their worst fears confirmed no matter how vindicated they feel. Husband and I went home after the appointment and got ready for dinner. I can't believe I didn't cry, but I didn't. I think I was in shock and still trying to process everything. We had a good time, but needless to say, the probable diagnosis and need to move straight to IVF and its accompanying financial implications were on our minds.

So I feel like we were both in a different place this year on our anniversary and that we could enjoy it wholeheartedly. I love DH so much. We've had our ups and downs this year, but we have come through everything stronger. I know he loves me and is there for me. He has been my rock, and for that I thank him.

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